7. The aftermath

So it hadn’t worked. My wife wasn’t pregnant and we weren’t going to start our family. I felt numb as we sat in the room. Somewhere in the distance, through the fog that had engulfed my brain, I could hear the nurse explaining that we would have to wait at least 2 pms cycles until we could be considered to try again. She said that she hated this part of her job and was apologising profusely for the bad news. I couldn’t understand why she was apologising; it wasn’t her fault. We were simply pawns in nature’s cruel twist of fate.

We walked out back through the waiting room full of people, with our eyes full of tears I felt certain they could see our pain and an awkward silence settled in the room as they probably realised that they too could soon be receiving the same news. It sounds cold now that I write it, but in that moment we didn’t care. Our sole intention was to get outside as quickly as possible. As we got outside into the cold December air we turned and embraced each other, neither of us wanting to ever let go of the other and hold onto that moment for all of eternity.


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