8. What next?

It’s been almost 2 months since that ill-fated, cold December morning. Though the pain has faded, the sorrow of our failure has not. Whether it’s photos of our family and friend’s babies babies posted on social media, or passing pregnant ladies/young families out in town, constant triggers for our grief are everywhere. Please don’t judge me by thinking that I resent any of these people; It makes me smile when I see their happy faces together. But I just can’t help being reminded of what might have been.

I feel stupid talking this way when I think of the people that go through miscarriages or the people that sadly only get to spend a short time with their babies.  Even though my wife was never officially pregnant, I’m told that it’s perfectly normal to feel this way as she did have a tiny embryo growing inside her for a few days.


We’ve slowly started to get on with our lives. Christmas has been and gone, and we’ve seen in a new year full of new potential and above all, new hope. We still have some of my frozen sperm samples from my previous treatment and we have a follow-up appointment with the consultant in 3 weeks. Our hope is that we will be offered the opportunity of a second chance at happiness.


4 thoughts on “8. What next?

  1. Highly recommend having your wife get an endometrial receptivity assay (ERA) – they’ve discovered that 25% of transfers are done on the wrong day, and the ERA assesses this. We didn’t learn about this biopsy test until we’ve had five failed IVFs, and after having the biopsy we found out that we should actually be having the transfer on day 6 instead of day 5 (basically taking six doses of progesterone instead of the normal 5 that most doctors have as a standard). It’s a test that I think should be mandatory for all IVF transfer so nobody spends unnecessary money without knowing that they’re actually transferring on the correct day… and by the way our insurance actually covers this even though they don’t cover any fertility treatments because this is considered a diagnostic test…


    1. Thanks so much for the advice. We’ve never heard of this until now, so it’s something we can bring up at our next consultation in a few weeks. As I may have mentioned, ignoring the cost for a second, we only have a limited number of my samples frozen so that will restrict our number of chances. Anything we can do to improve our odds is welcomed.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yep so many haven’t unfortunately! Another blogger who’s had multiple fails also finally did it and also found out her transfer was on the wrong date and now she is now pregnant so I’m crossing my fingers that’ll be what makes the difference for us. We are on our last two good embryos so we’re throwing everything we can at this last try.


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